Dealing With Angels
by xedwardxxloverx
Summary: Just another day in the Cullen household...Emmett wanting to play freaky games, Alice wanting to shop, Bella complaining about being Bella Barbie....What mayhem can they possibly cause? Please R&R! Rated T for language and some actions.
1. Chapter 1

A/N hi peoples! It's me again! Well I just typed this up cause I'm stuck in a house with three very annoying fourteen year olds, and what better thing to do than type a funny fanfic! This is my first attempt at a funny story but I hope that it is good. Enjoy!

**Me: attention, I have brought someone here to explain this to you.**

**Edward: what am I doing here? Who are you?!**

**Me: welcome, Edward. Now please tell these wonderful people what we rehearsed.**

**Edward: I don't have to say anything!**

**Me: SAY IT NOW!!**

**Edward: ah! Ok, please don't hurt me! You're scarier then Alice! **

**Me: thank you! **

**Edward: All right, before she kills me…she doesn't own us! Or ping-pong! **

Bella's POV

"Edward!" I shrieked. "Help me!"

Edward pounded the door down from his bedroom and came down into the living room like lightning. "What is it Bella?!"

"Make…him…stop!" I laughed.

Slowly Edward processed the scene in front of him. His frightened face turned into an angry scowl. Well, that's what anyone would do if I screamed like that to them because of the position I'm in now. Its not like I'm being hurt, no, far from that. I'm being exposed to the worst form of torture imaginable, being _tickled. _

"Come _on _Bella! Eddie, make her play fuck with me!!"

"Play _what?!_ You want to do what with my fiancé?!" he was so close to hitting him into oblivion.

"No! Not fuck her! Play the game fuck!"

"Eddie make his freaky talk stop," I complained playfully.

"Emmett, shut the hell up! Stop talking in your own strange language that no one else understands! And for the last time Emmett DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!!"

"Fine! Be that way! But make her play…" he whined.

"I don't have to play anything if I don't want to! Do I Edward?" I asked.

"Of course not, love. But if you want Emmett to ever leave you alone…"

"Damn you Emmett! Damn you to the fiery pits of hell," I said.

"Love you too hun! Here, I'll explain to you how to play."

"Eddie, stay with me? Please?" I batted my eyelashes.

He sighed, and sat down next to me.

"Ok, here's how it works," Emmett started. "This," he held up a ping-pong ball, "is a 'fuck'. These," he held up ping-pong paddles, " are the 'fuck paddles'. Are you following so far?"

We nodded warily.

"Good. Now, we, the players, are called the 'fuckees'. Now what you have to do is stand on opposite sides of a room and hit the 'fuck' back and forth without a ping pong table."

At the same time, Edward and I looked at each other. Both of our faces held concern for Emmett, who may need professional help.

"There are a couple rules though. For one, when you hit the 'fuck', you have to say 'fucker!' every time you hit it. And one person will say 'mother fucker!' every time the ball hits the ground. The object of the game is to not let the 'fuck' touch the ground. You can dive for it, but you can't hit it with your hands or hit it hard to the other person. Any questions?"

My mouth dropped open. "Yeah, I have one. WHAT THE FUCK?!" I paused then giggled at the wording. "I didn't do that on purpose," I said.

Edward smirked.

"Bella, that's not a question," Emmett scolded. "But let's play! Who's going against me first?"

"Eddie? Could you go first? I, uh, need to see how it's done," I lied.

"Why of course, Bella. Emmett, give me a damn paddle." He held his hand out.

"It's called a fuck paddle! Have some respect!" he handed Edward a paddle, and he hit Emmett with it.

"HEY! What was that for?" he complained.

"For making us play this. Now let's get this over with," he moaned.

"Let's," Emmett whispered, as he threw the fuck in the air and prepared to send it flying.

**A/N How did you like it? Was it good? Did it suck? Review and I will update just that much sooner! Oh and just like before I need at least five reviews to continue. Leave me a cookie, and thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N well here is Edward and Emmett actually playing! Hope you like it. D **

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: please tell everyone your name for me. **

**Emmett: what am I doing here? I was with Edward and Bella and it suddenly went **

**dark… **

**Me: erhem! **

**Emmett: well I'm not afraid of you! **

**Me: grr… **

**Emmett: ok ok! Well she still doesn't own us, but she does own the game fuck! **

**Me: thank you, Emmett. Now tell my reviewers how much you love them. **

**Emmett: no way! Rose would kill me! **

**Me: do it or I'll tell Rose what you did to Alice… **

**Emmett: I LOVE YOU POIFCT'S GIRL AND XEMILYXCULLENX! **

**Me: that's better! **

Bella's POV

Emmett threw the ball up, and hit it softly. It went toward Edward, who hit it

back, while saying 'fucker'. I didn't think that they would go through with it,

but every time one of them hit it, they would say 'fucker'. I was laughing so

hard that I fell off the couch, rolling on the floor. But that was not the only

reason behind my laughter. Emmett's face was so determined, so concentrated. It

was nothing like his usual playful self, and he actually looked like he was

Constipated. It was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.

I was laughing so hard that I was crying, and then when Emmett dove for the

fuck, and he missed it, he yelled mother fucker! It was really funny, and it was

even funnier when Esme started screaming at him for using such language.

I was laughing so hard that I would have permanate damage. Was clutching my

sides, rolling on the floor, and I probably looked mentally disturbed.

Then Jasper came in, looking very confused. "What the hell are you doing? And

why do I have the sudden urge to break out laughing?"

By the end of his sentence, he was smiling widely, then he broke out in

laughter. He started rolling on the ground next to me.

"What's…so…funny?" he laughed.

"Look!" I said, pointing at Emmett and Edward.

He understood, saw the look on Emmett's face, and joined laughing

wholeheartedly.

Looks like this is gonna be a party! The rest of the Cullen family walked in,

eyes questioning our sanity. Of course, with Jasper's power, they soon joined

us.

"What…laugh…the hell…laugh….are you guys doing?" Asked Rosalie practically

choking on her words.

"They're…playing…a game called 'Fuck'," Bella replied managing to calm down

enough to force the words out.

"Could you people please….shut up!" Edward yelled over our laughter. He was

obviously still consintrating just as hard on the game as Emmett was. It was

hilarious. Though instead of constipated he looked cute when he was extremly

determined.

The rest of the Cullen's and I finally stopped laughing and Jasper sent waves of

calm over everyone. Even Emmett and Edward seemed to relax a little. "Ok you

guys you can continue." Jasper said as he sat down next to me on the couch.

Edward and Emmett continued on with the game and from the looks of it Edward was

winning. This had obviously occurred to Emmett since he now looked extremely

irritated.

"Hey Bella," someone whispered to me. I came out from my thoughts to

find an extremely confused Jasper looking at me.

"Why so confuzzled Jazzy?" I asked, while chuckling at my choice of words.

"I don't understand the game they're playing. Can you explain it to me?" he asked, still looking confused.

"Ok it's kind of simple," I started. After I explained the rules his confused

expression turned to one of pure hilarity.

"Oh my god that is the funniest game I have ever heard of!" he said in between his laughs. "I want to play!" he said.

"Good you can play Edward now." Jasper got up only to be immediately replaced by

a very upset Emmett.

"I would have won if everyone wasn't laughing at me…" he mumbled on like that. I just giggled.

"I start!" Jasper said enthusiastically.

Edward murmured something that I couldn't hear. The look on his face told me that it wasn't a nice thing, either. I decided to help him.

Just as Jasper was about to throw the fuck in the air, I said, "hey guys? Hwy don't we give Edward a break? That game with Emmett looked like it wore him out a lot," I said. Edward shot me a thankful look, though Alice wasn't buying it.

"Let the boy play! Jazz wants to play, so that means Edward does too!" Alice said.

"No! I mean, uh, I want to…er…" I had sat back up on the couch when I was done laughing, so I clutched my throat and dropped back to the floor. I knew it was an act, so did everyone else, but Edward of course.

I felt cool arms wrap around me, and Edward's voice was very close. "Bella!"

I knew that if Edward thought I was hurt, he would do whatever I wanted without any hesitation. Even Alice couldn't stop him then.

So, for the Edward believing I was hurt cause, I murmured, "take me to our meadow."

Within moments we were out the door, and I could feel the air whipping against my skin as he ran. I smiled to myself. Edward looked down at me, and got very confused.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked, as he set me down in the middle of or meadow. "I thought you were hurt?"

I smiled. "Nope! Just part of my devious plan to get you out of there."

He smiled, understanding. "I love you so much," he said after a few minutes of staring at me.

"Oh yeah? Then prove it." I raised one eyebrow.

My favorite crooked smiled crossed his features, and he kissed me.

We were like that for several minutes before I broke away. He had the cutest pout on his features. "What's the matter?" he asked.

I pretended to think about it. "Hmmmm…well as of right now, nothing. Nothing could make this more perfect. Nothing could ruin this moment."

He smiled, making my heart stop. "Well in that case…"

I giggled as he pulled me closer and we began kissing once again.

**A/N so, did you like? Well I have to mention this, and this will occur for future chapters as well. Here it is: Emily helped me co-write this, so she gets some credit too. I write the majority, but if I get stuck, she takes over. Which could be why some of this doesn't seem like me. This time she wrote about half. Well, I already have the next chapter written, and no, there is no more of the game fuck in this story. Trust me, **_**i **_**don't even want to write any more with it! So now to end this freakishly long authors note, LEAVE ME A COOKIE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I thought of this chapter a while ago, it was actually going to be the first **

**chapter of this story. But, alas, the game fuck was too irresistible to post. I don't know what happened with the last chapter, it was up funny, I think it was because I wrote it on Emily's computer. Sorry bout that! Anyway, here is chapter three! **

(Edward's POV)

My love was on my couch, reading a book, when I interrupted.

"Bella?"

She looked up.

"Would you like to do something with me tonight?"

"Well that depends," she said, while placing a bookmark where she left off and

closing the book. "All you have to do is stay with me the whole time, and I'm

in." She smiled.

She would never know how much her beautiful smile allures me, if Alice hadn't

already told her. She probably told her everything that I thought was beautiful

about her, and the thought was terrifying.

"Oh, you wouldn't have to worry about that. Tonight will be just about you and

me."

"Sound great, Edward! We haven't had some alone time like that in awhile. It'll

be nice."

"It will be wonderful," I said, and I went to sit next to her. I leaned forward,

and she accepted my kiss. She pulled away reluctantly.

"Where are we going, Edward" she asked. "I don't want to be dressed all wrong."

She frowned.

"Oh, Alice would never let that happen!" I said sarcastically.

She moaned. "I am so not being Bella Barbie again. Do you know the torture that

girl puts me through?"

"Actually, I do. She does it to us sometimes too, you know." I winced at the

memory.

She patted my back. "I wont let her do that to you anymore."

"Good luck trying," I mumbled.

Edward, you are taking FOREVER! What's taking so long?! Impatience and I do not

mix, boy! Alice's thoughts came to me. Bring her down here already!

I scowled. "Bella, we should probably go downstairs before Alice hurts herself

by bouncing through the roof," I said, loud enough for Alice to hear downstairs.

I swiped up Bella bridal style, and ran downstairs. As I had predicted, Alice

was bouncing in place, waiting for us to come downstairs.

"I thought you would never come! Give her to me!" Alice held out her arms, so

she could take Bella.

Bella looked at me with the most terrified face, and I hugged her tighter.

"No. No 'Bella Barbie' anymore. If she doesn't enjoy it, she doesn't have to do

it," I said.

Alice looked at me incredulously. "Try me."

The look she sent me chilled me to the bone, and Bella sighed.

"I suppose that one last time wouldn't hurt…"

Alice squealed in delight, and took her from my arms and dashed into her room.

I sat down on the couch closest to the window, and took the CD from my pocket. I

was examining it when a booming voice came from a few feet away.

"Hey my brother! What 'cha got there?" he asked. Before I could respond, he

ripped the CD from my hands, starting to look at it. His face crumpled into one

of disgust when he was reading it.

"What the hell do you have this for?" he asked.

I sighed. "It's for Bella and I tonight. I am taking her to the beach, and I

thought that she might like some romantic music. Alice said she would like it,"

I explained.

He raised his eyebrows. "Does that mean you're gonna…"

I knew where he was headed, and I punched his arm really hard.

"OW!" he yelped, rubbing his arm. "Dude that HURT!"

I smiled. "That was the whole point."

"You know what, Eddie? I think that you should go to –"

"Boys! Be nice! We have company, and no one likes to hear you two fight!

Especially Bella! So stop it right now!" Esme yelled. She may be tiny, but she

has the biggest lungs in the family. And that says something. Alice is such a

bigmouth!

"Sorry Esme," Emmett and I called in harmony. It sounded rehearsed, which of

course it was. I heard her angry sigh from the kitchen.

I looked out the window for a moment, and started to think about Bella. I

promised that whenever Alice got her way and dressed up Bella, I had promised

not to look, for the surprise. I wanted to see her so badly that a sneak peek

couldn't hurt…

At that moment, Emmett gave me my CD back. "Here, I don't want it to rub off on

me too much."

"Whatever." I snatched it from his hands and put it back into my pocket.

I heard a snicker from the top of the stairs. "Will you two boys ever stop

fighting?"

"Probably not," we said at the same time.

"Well stop for a minute, 'cause I have someone to show you!" Alice sang. "Emmett,

go away! This is their moment!" she hissed at him.

He was mumbling some unintelligible things as he stalked into his room to meet

with Rose. When we heard his door slam, she continued.

"Anyway, here is BELLA!" she stepped aside to show a beautiful Bella. Bella

started to walk carefully down the stairs, as careful as Bella can possibly be.

I examined her with awe, again realizing how lucky I was to have such a

beautiful, intelligent girl such as Bella in my life. Or, less ironically, my

existence.

Her hair flowed nicely down her back, and it was glittering. Alice must have put

sparkles in her hair. She had a blue bikini on under a summer dress, which was

brown. It complemented her hair and eyes lovely. Alice had also put her in death

traps as Bella would call them, clear ones that were very high and made her

wobble every two steps or so. Altogether, she looked like she had just walked

out of a fashion magazine. I could only stare at her with my mouth agape, but

she didn't notice. She was entirely concentrated on getting down the stairs

without killing herself, which I was glad she was watching out for.

I tried to not stare too much, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but I

couldn't help myself. She looked so damn adorable, and I am so glad she is all

mine.

On the fourth step from the bottom, she tripped. I was expecting this, and so

was Alice, so I was quickly by her side, catching my beloved.

She flushed tomato red, and it made her look even more glorious somehow. I could

not see why she saw herself as 'not that pretty,' as she once put it. She does

not see herself clearly at all, but I think that Alice and Rosalie are helping

with her self-esteem. I would have to thank them for that before I kill them for

making Bella be their doll again.

"Careful, Love," I breathed. It made her blush deeper.

Alice was staring at us, and over Bella's head, I signaled for her to leave.

_In a minute!_ She thought. I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, worried.

"Nothing, just a small voice at the back of my head that's getting on my

nerves." I said that while staring at Alice. Alice glared at me.

"We could do this another time…" Bella trailed off, though I knew that she did

nowhere near want to put this off.

"No! I mean, its just Alice. She is very annoying. Lets go before Rosalie comes

down too," I said, pulling her toward the door.

Speak of the devil, and the devil shall come.

"Awwwwwwww! Look how so damn cute they look! We did good!" Rosalie slapped

Alice's waiting hand.

I groaned. I picked up Bella, ran outside, and placed her in the passenger seat

of my Volvo. I buckled her in quickly, and then I was in my own seat, starting

the engine.

"So, have you figured out where we are going yet?" I asked her.

"Well, I had my money on a casino, but I think that was changed when Alice

brought out the bikinis," she said jokingly. Her nose crinkled when she mentioned Alice

and her clothes. I couldn't blame her. Her expression made me laugh, though.

We arrived within minutes, at the perfect time, just as the sun was setting.

"We're here."

**A/N kinda short, I know, but trust me on this, the next chapter will be much longer. If anyone has anything that they think should happen in the next chapter, put it in a review! Leave me a cookie! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N omc, I am so sorry at how the last couple of chapters have been laid out, I swear that I will never type them on Emily's computer again. Sorry! **

**And somehow I managed to forget to put one of my disclaimers in the last chapter! I think it was just cause I was so excited to get it up though. Oh, and I changed one word in this song. But here it is, enjoy!**

**Me: I have another special guest here to tell you all something. **

**Alice: what the hell? You said we were going shopping!**

**Me: yeah, well, I lied. Get over it.**

**Alice: how rude! You will pay…**

**Me: yeah, okay. Just tell them what I told you to then I'll actually take you shopping.**

**Alice: -thinks for a moment- deal! She still doesn't own us, the beach, or the song!**

**Me: and?**

**Alice: and a huge thanks to Poifct's Girl, NotWhoYouThinkThisIs, JennyPenny1014, and razgirl2! You all rock!**

**Me: a promise is a promise. Let's go, Alice.**

**Alice: woo!**

(Bella's POV)

"We're here," Edward whispered, staring at me. I was suddenly overly self-conscious. What if he thought I was ugly?

My door opened, and Edward held out his hand for me to take. I smiled, and took it gratefully.

I think that he could see the worry on my face, but he took it the wrong way.

"Do you want to go home?" he whispered softly.

I started to shake my head frantically. "No! Of course not, Edward! This is our night together."

He pulled me close, our lips almost touching. "Then what's wrong?"

I blinked, trying to remember what I was going to say. I drew up a blank.

"Why won't you tell me?" he whispered, his breath swirling around me. He pulled me just a bit closer.

I looked down so I could remember why I was worried. Then it came to me.

"No reason," I mumbled. He didn't buy it.

He groaned. "Bella, _please._ You have no idea how frustrating this is! Please tell me, I want to help."

I nodded softly, and he put his finger on my chin, and lifted my head up until I was looking in his eyes. I saw so much love, but also concern for me.

I sighed. "I was afraid that…that you wouldn't like me. That I was ugly," I said slowly.

He had a look of disbelief on his face. "Bella, you are the most gorgeous thing on this planet, how could you think that? And you should know that I love you more than anything else. My angel is perfect," he said.

At first I thought he was kidding about the angel part. Me, an angel? No way. Him an angel, yes!

I could see that he couldn't take it any more, he leaned down and kissed me softly. I slowly brought up my hands, and wrapped them around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I was getting really into the kiss, and I think I was putting him over the edge, for he pulled away. Though in his eyes was desire. For me.

He reached down and took my hand in his. "Shall we?"

He led me to a part of the beach that I realized had a blanket laid down, a small radio, and a basket which I guessed had food in it for me. As little as there was there, it was perfect. I knew I would never want to leave.

I stopped a few feet in front in front of it, not wanting to spoil it with me intruding apon it. I looked up at Edward, and he was staring at me. I smiled lightly, and brushed my fingers across his face. He closed his eyes.

Suddenly, I felt something odd. I felt like…like I was being watched? I whipped around and eyed the trees and the Volvo suspiciously. I turned back to Edward, who looked a bit staggered.

"What was that?" he asked me.

"Um, nothing. I thought I heard something."

He nodded, sitting down on the blanket. He patted the space next to him, smiling up at me. I sat down and leaned against him. I put my head on his shoulder and sighed.

I looked up at the sky, seeing the orange sun just slightly starting to go under the horizon. It was the prettiest sunset I have ever seen here in Forks.

"It's so beautiful," I murmured.

"Yes, it is," Edward said. I looked at him to find he was staring at me again. I blushed.

He sat up for a moment, only to sit back down. I was about to ask, but then I saw a disc in his hand. I raised my eyebrows. He slipped the CD in the player, and a soft, charming melody began to play. It was very relaxing. I laid down on the blanket, and Edward followed suit. I wrapped my arms around his waist and sighed contentedly. He brushed his fingers through my hair, enjoying the night as well.

All of a sudden the song that was playing on the radio stopped for a moment. Then it was replaced with a song I never thought that I would hear at a moment like this.

_**See here's the thing**_

_**We have to take our clothes off**_

_**We have to party all night**_

_**And we have to take our clothes off**_

_**To have a good time**_

_**Oh no**_

I was still frozen from shock.

_**Excuse me miss**_

_**I couldn't help but to notice how alone you are**_

_**I dig the attitude and how you're acting like you own the bar**_

_**Got me flashing keys and I don't even own a car**_

_**Like you ain't feeling my charm, because I know you are**_

_**I'm trying to see how your lips feel**_

_**Oh I'm sorry, my name is Edward and I'm pretty much a big deal**_

Oh my god, they put Edward's name in! I looked at him, and he was still in the shock that this song was actually playing.

_**Oh, you've never heard of me**_

_**That sounds absurd to me**_

_**The way you stole my attention was flat out burglary**_

_**What do you say let's exit stage left so me and you can**_

_**Possibly reconvene and play some naked peekaboo**_

_**Cause after all the blouse you're wearing is kinda see through**_

_**And it's obvious I'm heading wherever you're leading me too**_

I couldn't help it anymore-I started to laugh. Hard. I couldn't breathe.

_**Such an angel with a devilish angle**_

_**And quite the certified sweet talker**_

Holy shit. I realized that was me! I'm the devil angel! Cool!

_**And you're buying every line of it girl**_

_**And I don't really blame you**_

_**If I was in your shoes I'd probably do the same too**_

For the first time ever, Edward was speechless. He looked at me with wide eyes, petrified. That made me laugh even harder!

_**We have to take our clothes off**_

_**We have to party all night**_

_**And we have to take our clothes off**_

_**To have a good time**_

_**Oh no**_

Suddenly Edward looked furious. He was going to kill Emmett, since he was the one singing the song! EMMETT WAS SINGING THIS SONG! OH MY GOD!

_**Now here's another barn burner for the slow learners**_

_**Put your helmets on and take a seat on the short bus**_

_**Next stop, right around the corner from your momma live**_

_**No turning back so you better buckle up**_

_**Shit, don't be concerned with mine**_

_**I feel like a Speak and Spell way I got you learning my lines**_

_**Fine, pull the string, replay that shit**_

_**I change my name to "did he really just say that shit?"**_

_**Yep**_

My sides are hurting so much!

"OHMYGODEMMETTYOUAREDEAD!" Edward roared.

_**Yep**_

_**I'll take a mile if you let me**_

_**Six-five, two hundred plus and so sexy**_

_**My legs going numb for keeping my phone on vibrate**_

_**To hide the fact your girlfriend keeps textin' me**_

_**And I've been trying to never mind it man**_

_**But every time I get a new number, she finds it damn**_

_**And you thought you had it sewn up**_

_**Until right around amazing o'clock when I showed up**_

Edward looked at me as though I was insane, for I was still laughing. He was right about me being insane though. Cause hell yeah I am!

_**We have to take our clothes off**_

_**We have to party all night**_

_**And we have to take our clothes off**_

_**To have a good time**_

_**Oh no**_

As that line of music was playing, Edward's emotion changed drastically. It went right from furious to desiring. Desiring for my love. I was momentarily confuzzled, until I realized the meaning behind the change in emotion.

SHIT!

_**Got chicks, all hot chicks**_

_**Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks**_

_**Slim chicks, round chicks**_

_**Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks**_

_**Got chicks, all hot chicks**_

_**Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks**_

_**Slim chicks, round chicks**_

_**Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks**_

"Jasper!" I screamed, just before Edward crushed himself to me.

He started kissing me with a passion, so far beyond his boundries he worked so hard to maintain. Of course I enjoyed it, but it was so wrong. He was kissing me for all the wrong reasons. Even though it wasn't his fault, he didn't exactly have a choice as of right now. Then I thought of how dead Emmett, Jasper, and Alice would be. That cheered me up.

_**Good grief girl, you're giving me goosebumps**_

_**Standing there in your underwear and new pumps**_

_**It's like the more time we waste and less time I get to taste you**_

I chuckled, Alice sang that part.

_**Honestly I could easily replace you**_

_**It's not a scam girl**_

_**That's how I am girl**_

_**Peter Pan, I'm a sucka for smucka's jam girl**_

_**It's clear I'm only here for good clean fun**_

_**Shut up and kiss me like the antidotes under my tongue**_

_**Whoa**_

OMC, Jasper sang that! HAHAHA!

_**We have to take our clothes off**_

_**And we have to party all night**_

_**And we have to take our clothes off**_

_**To have a good time**_

_**Oh no**_

Oh my god, what is Edward doing? He's trying to take my dress off! Not with them watching!

_**We have to take our clothes off**_

_**And we have to party all night**_

_**And we have to take our clothes off**_

_**To have a good time**_

_**Oh no**_

Crap! He got off my dress! No! He's going for my bikini top!

_**Got chicks, all hot chicks**_

_**Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks**_

_**Slim chicks, round chicks**_

_**Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks**_

_**Got chicks, all hot chicks**_

_**Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks**_

_**Slim chicks, round chicks**_

_**Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks**_

The CD ended…

He untied the back…

I didn't want this! Well, I did, but not here when his siblings were probably watching!

"Get off of me!" I screeched before he actually took the top off.

He stopped immediately. He pulled away, looking so surprised, and immensely hurt. But what he didn't know was that I only said that to try and snap him out of his trance-like state. He thought he was hurting me.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked frantically, looking for signs that I was. But then, for the first time, he realized that he was on top of me, trying to take my top off. Wow, I thought. He didn't even know that he was undressing me.

A growl rumbled low in his chest, and I thought it was from anger. It may have been, but he was looking at my chest while he did it. So he was doing it for me!

"Edward? Are you okay?" It was so unlike him to stare.

His head snapped up, and focused on something a little farther away. I twisted to see what it was, but my human eyes were too weak to see what he was looking at. I turned back to find that he was no longer on top of me. I sat up, and found that he wasn't even around me anymore. Good thing too, cause I forget that my top was untied, so when I sat up, it fell off. I blushed furiously, and quickly refastened it. I slipped the dress back on, and stood up.

The thing that alarmed me first was the fact that I heard a scream. Not just any scream, but the scream of my obnoxious soon to be sister-in-law.

I started to run toward the noise, and found that they were nowhere to be seen. I was about to turn around to head back, but behind me looked just like in front of me. I turned again, confused. I started to run toward where I thought would lead me back, but apparently I just got deeper into the forest.

Now I started to freak out. I couldn't hear anything but the occasional bird or squirrel. It was starting to get cold, and I hugged myself in an attempt to keep warm. What was even _worse _was that while I was walking I tripped, and cut open my stomach, ruining the stupid little dress Alice made me wear. My stomach hurts so bad! I looked at it and concluded that it was pretty deep. And it didn't help at all that it was gushing blood, which was making me even queasier from the smell.

I started to get lightheaded. I collapsed on the ground, falling into unconsciousness. The last thing I remember thinking was I was wondering why Edward hadn't found me yet…

I rolled over to find that I was really warm. My eyes opened in shock, to see that I was in Edward's Volvo, and he was driving furiously. I looked at him, and his face softened.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

"Yes, I think so. What happened to Alice?" I asked.

His eyes hardened slightly. "Well, I almost got her, but then I heard you scream, and I realized that you hadn't stayed where I left you. So Alice took that time I was looking for you to run away. I'm still pretty pissed at her, and they are going to pay." He paused. "Speaking of, Bella I am so sorry for what I was doing, I didn't even realize—"

I interrupted. "It's okay Edward, I know. Alice is an evil mastermind. But we can't blame Jasper, you know that he would do anything for Alice—"

Now he interrupted me. "Oh, he's going to pay. You'll see."

We pulled up to his house, and Edward came to my side and picked me up bridal style and carried me into the house. He ran up the stairs, and set me in his bed. He gave me my favorite sweat pants and shirt, and left me to change, and he went downstairs, to yell at the others I guessed.

I went to the bathroom and took a hot shower, and it felt so nice. I stood there for a minute just enjoying it. Then I went to quickly brush through my hair, and brush my teeth. I went back into Edward's room, and climbed under the covers. I didn't realize how much my stomach hurt until I tried to lay on it. I yelped loudly, and before I could even think, Edward was right there.

"What's wrong?!" he asked.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I sat up and lifted up my shirt. He saw the gash and his eyes darkened. Not for the need for my blood, but because he was dead furious.

He came over next to me, and kissed my hair before picking me up again and bringing me downstairs. He sat me on his lap as he sat down on the couch.

He rocked me back and forth slowly as he began to yell at Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and…Rose?!

I took one of Edward's arms and laid it on my stomach, for the coolness of it helped. I looked at him and smiled a tiny smile.

"Jasper, do you know what you put Bella through tonight? And Emmett, you replaced the damn CD? What the hell! And Alice, I think I may want to kill you the most! You knew this was going to happen, and you kept it from me! How could you—"

I could tell that Edward was about to pounce on Alice at any second, I could feel him tense up.

I rubbed his back soothingly. He seemed to calm down.

Rosalie started to chuckle. I looked at her, and apparently that made her laugh harder.

"Mwahaha!" she cackled. "It was me! I planned it! I told them what to do! And they were stupid enough listen! HAHAHA!" She fell on the floor she was laughing so hard.

I could see that every vampire in this room was very, very pissed at Rosalie. They all had the look of murder in their eyes. Edward the most, of course.

She cut off laughing suddenly, and looked very scared.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" she screamed, as Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett all tried to catch her. They were all miles away within moments, and I smiled to myself. Edward would be back any moment, and how could I not look forward to that?

**A/N holy crap! That was WAY longer then I expected! Woa! Lolz. I changed the end a lot. I almost forgot that this was supposed to end funny, and I had a whole dramatic ending, so I changed it from Bella not talking to Edward to Rosalie being the evil mastermind. Yeah, weird, I know. Tell me what you think! And I need ideas people! Ideas! Cause I have a few but I don't think that they will work. So we are going to play a little game here. Whoever gives me the funniest idea that will work, they will get a part in the next chapter. Now make me happy and leave a cookie!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N how are you all? To get in the spirit of Christmas, I decided to update this story, but have it around Christmas time! Enjoy!**

**Rose: why did you bring me here, dumb ass? I mean, I have nothing better to do anyway, but still.**

**Me: oh, just cooperate with me, Rose. **

**Rose: grrrr.**

**Me: see, don't you feel better? Now tell then before I get mad.**

**Rose: oh, not the wrath of the clumsy human!**

**Me: grrrr.**

**Rose: now you know how it feels.**

**Me: JUST SAY THE GOD DAMN LINES!**

**Rose: whatever. She doesn't own us, Lifetime or its movies, or Alice's Porche. Oh yeah did I mention that the author's a fuck head? **

**Me: ignore the above, please. DON'T LISTEN TO HER!!! AHHHHHHH!!!**

(Bella's POV)

It was so close to the most dreaded holiday of the year. For me, at least. Presents left and right, and then you get stuffed full of ralloden. I call it poop, since that's what it looks like. **(A/N it's so true! I have to eat it every year and it looks SO GROSS!) **

But that's beside the point. This is my first year with the Cullen's for Christmas, and I for one am terrified.

Edward seemed to notice that I was getting traumatized, and he shook me slightly.

"Bella, love, are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

I shook my head, as if to shake the problems away. It didn't quite work.

"Um, yeah, I'm fine." I sounded very unconvincing, but he let it go.

He smiled. "Are you excited for the holiday? It's our first together," he added. God, it's like he can read my mind!

I sighed, but I couldn't let such a face be let down. "Merry Christmas!" I said, honestly trying to sound enthusiastic. Yeah it didn't work.

"Not quite yet, Bella, but in a few days it will be. Could you at least try to act excited for the family? Alice will be beyond disappointed if you don't like it," he said. "And there's nothing worse then a sad Alice."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, remember what happened to Emmett when he didn't cooperate at Halloween?" I asked, and we shuddered in harmony.

"Well, now we know that if he won't wear the silly hat that goes with the costume she made him that he will get chocolate stuffed down his throat. Oh, and his hair dyed the color of the hat, too," Edward said.

"What color was it? Oh, wasn't it aqua?"

"Yes, it was."

I couldn't help but laugh a bit at the memory. But then I thought of what would happen to me if I didn't make her happy.

"Alright, I'll be good. But under one condition."

"What is it?" my true love asked.

"You have to do everything that I do with me," I said, touching his nose lightly when I said 'you'.

He smirked. "I was going to do that anyway."

After that, Edward and I plopped down on the couch in the living room, and I flipped through the channels. I stopped on Lifetime, and there was a movie on it. It was called Carolina Moon **(A/N I love that movie sooo much! It's only on Lifetime though, so if you can catch it there, watch it!) **by Nora Roberts. It made me tear up a few times, but when it was on the part where Tory looks back in time and she sees Grace get killed, there was suddenly a Christmas tree in the middle of the living room. I gasped in surprise.

"Oh, Alice," I moaned. She couldn't, wouldn't do this to me! Then again, this is Alice we're talking about.

Then a few boxes appeared out of thin air, and I'm guessing that they were full of ornaments. Why wouldn't they be? I mean, Alice just knows the right ways to tick me off. Sooner or later the little time bomb that is my brain will explode because of her.

"Please tell me that those are for you and Jasper to decorate thee tree with to get some quality time together?" I asked, very doubtful.

"Nice try," she said, and winked. "We will be doing this today, and look outside," she said while pushing me out the front door. She wheeled me to look at the house, and my jaw dropped. Talk about overboard.

She had draped lights all over the house, though in a way that it made your eyes travel all over. There was a Santa sitting on the roof of the house by his sleigh, and it looked like the deer were moving, though they weren't. There were icicles hanging from the roof, and they glittered marvelously.

There were many, MANY more things that she had out up, but it would take me all day to count them off. I turned to Edward, who was watching me.

"Help?" I squeaked.

There was a sadness in his eyes, but that was only because he was petrified of what Alice was going to make us do in the next couple of days.

Actually, I don't mind the holiday as much as the presents. I remember that my favorite part was always getting to see my family; Renee, Charlie, Grace, Aunt Ali, ect. Aunt Ali is Grace's mom. I blantly wondered how she took the news of Grace's disappearance…

I was pushed back inside by an impatient pixie-like angel, and plopped down in front of the tree. I groaned, but opened the tub in front of me. It revealed many blue, silver, red, green, and various other colored ornaments. Sighing, I took a small box from the inside out. I slid the ornaments form their box, put the little hook on it, and hung it on the tree. I looked behind me at Edward, and he was looking at me, smiling. I could that all he wanted was for me to enjoy myself. He sat down behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed contentedly, and leaned back into him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Alice looking at us like we were puppies at a pet store that she wanted to get so badly. I could imagine her saying, "mommy! Please, can I get them! They are so adorable!" I chuckled at the thought.

I blinked, and she was gone. My eyes darted everywhere, but she was nowhere in sight. I closed my eyes for about three seconds, and when I opened them again, three more vampires had joined us. Emmett, Jasper, and Esme stood right before the couches, looking at me. I blushed, and stood up.

"Excuse me," I said, rushing up the stairs. Ama za zingly **(A/N that's my way of saying amazing)**, I didn't trip or fall. I walked to the bathroom, and closed the door slowly behind me. I was happy that Edward hadn't come. I needed a moment to reflect upon the horrors that were sure to be coming.

**--:-- --:-- --:--**

I had gone back downstairs, dragging my feet, actually hoping to fall. I wouldn't mind having Edward's arms around me again…

I didn't even try to, but of course I tripped on the middle step of the grand staircase, and I squeezed my eyes shut, prepared to fall to my demise. I had stopped moving, and I was entrapped by marble arms. I smiled, and looked up at him. He picked me up, and carried me the rest of the way down.

I became slightly happy, because of the fact that Alice had finished decorating the tree while I was upstairs. But that just meant more time to do other things. I shuddered.

The little pixie clapped her hands together. "Alright! Now that that's done, what should we do next…" he eyes went glassy for a minute, then she cracked a smile. "Of course! Bella, come on, we have shopping to do."

She walked over and tried to grab my arm, but I pulled away, clinging to Edward for dear life. "No!" I cried.

She rolled her eyes and tried to take me from Edward's arms, but this time he pulled away. God bless him.

"Bella shouldn't have to go shopping today, she has been through enough, don't you think?" Edward asked Alice.

I always knew I loved that boy.

Alice talked to him through his mind for a moment, and I could see they were arguing. I didn't want to know what about, just that I wanted to stay here with Edward. I know that Alice won't let him come too.

He sighed in defeat. No! God dammit, she won again!

My angel looked at me sadly, and said, "I'm sorry. It will only be for a little while, and she promises it won't be what you think it is." He paused. "It's probably good since she's blocking her mind from me." He handed me over, and when I blinked, I was in Alice's Porche.

She was silent, which scared me even more. Alice is NEVER quiet! But that could just be because Edward would be able to hear…God help me…

When we were about five miles away, she believed it was safe to talk without getting caught.

"So, Bella, how are you today? Well you'd better be in a good mood, because we'll be shopping for awhile. But don't worry, it's mostly not for you. Though you will have to suffer with getting two outfits…that's what I saw that you were getting…"

She still went on and on, but I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the seat, trying to tune her out. After a few minutes she noticed I wasn't listening anymore, and she started to pout.

About ten minutes later, we stopped in front of a huge mall. And I quote, HUGE. It was perfect for Alice, and my worst nightmare.

She parked quickly, pulled me out of my side, and dragged me into the building.

"Okay!" she exclaimed. "First we go to Sears, for the boys."

We walked for about a minute when we arrived at a place that had Sears plastered across the top. She grabbed my hand, and we entered the store.

The first place she took us to was the men's clothes. We looked at character tees for Emmett, and I found one that said, "I love blondes". I giggled at that.

There was a pair of pants Alice said that she saw Jasper would love, so she bought six different kinds, but they were all the same.

Next was Edward. I had absolutely NO idea what to get him, nothing at all. We said that we weren't going to get each other anything at all, but I know for a fact that he wouldn't keep that promise…

Suddenly Alice's eyes glazed over, and she froze. Slowly a smile spread across her face that made me look on with horror. I knew that face, it meant much pain on my part. NOT something I look forward to, because that usually means I get dragged around from store to store, getting clothes I'll never ever wear. I growled internally.

Someone who was obviously rushing to get out of here bumped into me, causing me to fall on top of Alice, who was still having the vision of my demise. We crashed to the floor, and I winced. The fall brought her back to reality, and she was up in a flash. She grabbed my forearms and pulled me up as well.

She smiled evilly. "I know what you should get Edward for Christmas…"

I gasped as she cashed out and dragged me out of the store. She didn't hesitate as she speed walked through the mall, until we stopped in front of a VERY pink store. The manicans were wearing…oh no…this isn't…she wouldn't…

Victoria's Secret.

**A/N sorry for the cliffie, but this is what I came up with! And I should have the next chapter out by tomorrow, if I get enough reviews! Also, I started this chapter awhile ago as you can tell. But I hope you like it!**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I hope you aren't too mad at me for the cliffie that was the last chapter! I wanted to see how you would all react…hehe…ill shut up now so you can enjoy the chapter!

**Me: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!**

**Esme: yes, happy New Year to everyone!**

**Me: so, how are you today, Esme?**

**Esme: I'm quite fine, thank you! How about you?**

**Me: I'm wonderful!**

**Edward: hey! How come you're all nice to Esme and you treated us like shit!**

**Emmett: yeah!**

**Me: I would NEVER be mean to you guys! How could you accuse me of such a thing?**

**Esme: how rude of you! Leave poor Taylor alone! Edward, Emmett, **_**go to your rooms!**_

**Edward: crap, not again!**

**Emmett: ugh. This always happens to me!**

_**The boys went and sulked to their rooms**_

**Me: boys can be SO immature!**

**Esme: you got that right! Oh, she doesn't own us! Or Victoria's Secret, or…well, the only thing she really owns is the plot!**

**Me: that's right! READ ON, MY READERS, READ ON!**

(Bella's POV)

No.

She would _not _drag me in this…lingerie store.

She could pull at me, and do whatever the hell she wants to, but I have the power to scream. And scream I will do.

She must have had a vision of that, because we were suddenly in the food court, and a sub was being shoved down my throat. Then, while my mouth was still full, she dragged me back inside Victoria's Secret. I growled.

With my mouth full, it was impossible to scream, as Alice knew. When I finished, I was about to say something, before she shoved more in my moth. She smiled sheepishly, while dragging me over to where the manikins were standing. There was a black piece on one of them, and there was almost nothing to it. Why even bother…

"Ohhh…" Alice wondered. She stood very still for a moment, and then came back to present times. "He'll love it!" she squealed. She shoved one of the skimpy outfits in my face. "Try this on!"

"Uh uh. No way in hell will I out this on—"

That was as far as I got before she shook something in her hands, which jingled. I looked down at it and realized that it was silver. My eyes narrowed.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would. If you don't cooperate with me, your ugly little truck will have fun jumping over that cliff you had your episode on awhile ago." She raised her eyebrows.

I groaned loudly, but snatched the stupid outfit and ran into the dressing room. I tried it on, not looking in the mirror, and took it off again right away. I threw the little pile of lace into a corner and shuddered. I was about to start to put my clothes back on, when something hit my head.

"What the—"

"Just try it on!" a small voice said. "And give me the black one you just tried on." She paused, while I threw the black piece over. "Oh, and hurry up! I don't have forever!"

I ruffled through the pile that she gave m, and I found a blue one that I _knew_ Edward would like. Sighing, I slipped it on. It was silk, and it felt nice against my skin. I actually looked in the mirror for this one, and I gasped.

I looked…looked…

"Geez, Bella, I never thought of you as vain!" Alice said. "I saw that he'll like that one the best, so throw it over and get dressed!"

I did as I was told, and I was out of the small dressing room in a couple of minutes. She took my hand and started to pull me towards the cash registers, but I stopped. We were near the bras and underwear. I really should get some, and we're her anyway…

Alice turned to see my dilemma, and smiled. We got some blue matching bras and stuff, about six pairs, and cashed out.

I was relieved when we stepped out of the store, and I froze when I saw someone staring at us. Newton.

Alice pretended not to notice, even though she knew he was there.

He just kind of stood there in surprise, because the little blue lingerie Alice bought for me was sticking out. I stifled a giggle, and walked swiftly away.

"So what now?" I asked.

"Now, we are going home."

I breathed out a sigh of relief.

In the car ride home, Alice thought of something. "Oh, I just thought of something else to get Emmett!"

"What is it?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"We have to go to the toy store!"

And with that, she fishtailed around and pulled in to Toys R Us. She grabbed me and ran into the store, snatching the last six **(A/N I know, it's not likely that there would be exactly six left, but have an imagination!) **Nerf Guns on the shelf. She also got A LOT of darts for them, too.

While she was checking out, she said to me, "well, not only for Emmett I guess, but for everyone. I was only going to get one originally, but I figured it would be fun for all of us."

I nodded, not sure what everyone would think of them. I mean, I knew that Emmett would love them, but what about everyone else? I can just imagine the look on Jasper's face…

It was then that I remembered what I had gotten Edward for Christmas, with my own money, not what we had gotten from VS. I had gotten him the new iPod video, with my own money. I hadn't told anyone, so they wouldn't insist on buying it with their own money. So, in other words, I didn't tell Alice.

Stupidly, when I was thinking about it, I forgot to account for the small little psychic vampire that could see what I was going to give him.

"Bella," she scolded me. "You bought that with your own money?"

I gulped. "Maybe…"

She sighed. "Edward's not going to be happy about that, you know."

"Oh well. I wanted to get him something besides what…you…got him…from me. And I wanted it to be more special then just you buying it. So, let him be mad, I'd like to see how long he would last being mad at me," I challenged her.

She was shocked at me. "Huh. I see your point, he can't be mad at you for any length of time. But, he can still blame me," she pointed out.

I shrugged. "So let him. What can he do?"

"Worse things then you can imagine. But, I see your point, I'm better at that game then he is."

"What game?"

"The game of revenge."

Oh. Right. We walked out of the store, only to find that it was raining. Not out of the ordinary. I grew to love the rain, but Alice still doesn't like it. She crinkled her nose, ands started to walk faster.

When we got back home, she dashed up the stairs faster then ever before, in hope of them not seeing the presents. She wouldn't let me carry anything inside, so I walked in at my own pace. I saw Edward on the couch, but when he noticed I was back, he quickly put something under the tree. I saw a little box that said, "Bella" in his elegant script. I shook my head as he suddenly appeared in front of me.

"What?" my love asked.

I pointed. "You promised."

"So did you."

I blushed, and he then knew that I broke the promise too. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Would you like to tell me why Alice is blocking her mind right now?" he asked casually.

"Nope. I have _no_ idea why," I said, cracking a smile.

"If you really don't want to tell me, the least you can do is give me a kiss, you know," he said.

"Well I guess I could…"

I decided to play with him a bit. As he closed his eyes and waited for me to kiss his lips, I picked up his hand and kissed his palm. He looked at me, shocked.

"You never said where," I said evilly. He laughed.

"No, I guess I didn't."

"Enough of that, you lovebirds!" Alice cooed. "Christmas is in the morning, and we need to prepare!"

**A/N it's somewhat a cliffie. But you don't know what Edward got Bella! Mwahaha. And I do! So, if you love me like I hope you do, then review! But I won't be able to update until this weekend…-sniff-**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N hola! If I said I was sorry, would you believe me? It's just that this story hasn't been my first priority. I'll try to keep up with this one now, though. Because I'm sure some people are thing, **_**what is this story? I don't remember! **_**Hell, I pretty much did that. So, please enjoy what I hope is a good chapter! **

(Bella's POV)

"Bellaaa," someone whispered in my ear. "Beeellaaa."

"Mmmm," I mumbled. "Go away."

"Sweetheart, you have to get up now. If you don't, Alice is going to come up here," Edward said quietly, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. He was petting my hair.

"Five more minutes," I said sleepily, turning over. It seemed he had given up, because I heard a soft sigh, and I smiled victoriously. As my mind began to blur, and I was entering the dream world, I started to be shook violently.

"Bella! WAKE up!"

My eyes shot open, and I was so surprised that I rolled off of the bed. "Ahh!"

Alice put her hands on her hips and looked down at me. "Do you know what day it is?!"

"Sleep day?" I said hopelessly.

"_Christmas_ day! Your first Christmas with us! So GET UP and be merry!" she ordered.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. I looked at my clothes. "Do I have to change?"

"No. I mean, everyone else is staying in their pajamas to stay in the spirit." And that she was. She had pink silk pajamas on, from Victoria's Secret, with little black polka dots on them. I was curious to see everyone else's.

"Okay, you got me. Let's get this over with," I said, but she knew I was joking. Somehow, I was actually excited for this. What is wrong with me?

She squealed, and dragged me down the stairs. I stopped halfway down, frozen where I was standing. Alice continued to skip down, and she gracefully loped into Jasper's lap.

There. Were. So. Many. Presents. I wanted to throw up there were so many. I could only imagine that the majority of the pile was for me. I shuddered very visibly.

Edward was suddenly there. He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Are you okay, Love?" he asked, worried.

"Yes." I shuddered again, giving away my lie.

"What's wrong?" He put his lips to my ear. I shivered, but this time, it wasn't from the presents. I felt him smile.

"N-nothing."

"Tell me," he whispered, nibbling on my earlobe. My will shattered.

"The presents," I said shakily.

"What about them?"

"There are so many."

"And?"

"And how many of them are for me?"

He was silent.

"Oh, great," I moaned.

He picked me up swiftly, and we were suddenly sitting on the couch, me on his lap, him kissing my neck from behind. It was softly enough that I could pretend that I didn't notice it.

"Merry Christmas everyone," I said, trying to be cheery.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," everyone else said in chorus. It was creepy.

"Breakfast for the human?" Edward asked. Just then, embarrassingly, my stomach growled.

I blushed. "Yeah."

Esme then came into the room, carrying a plate with eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and toast on it. She also carried a glass of what I identified as orange juice. It looked _delicious_.

"Thank you, Esme," I said, taking the plate from her when she offered it.

She and Carlisle weren't going to stay for this, Alice had told me the day before. So I'm guessing that she left when she gave me the plate.

"Edward," I said quietly, "I can't eat all of this."

He kissed the top of my head. "Just eat what you can."

I shrugged, and started picking at the food. I started with the bacon. Poor little pig. I remember one time when I was little that I felt so bad for eating pork chops that I tried to become a vegitarian. Every time we ordered pizza, I picked off the pepperoni. Every time Mom made breakfast, I told her to skip the bacon. Everyone except Mom thought that I was becoming anorexic because almost everything that I ate before that mostly consisted of meat. So they kept offering me food, and when I refused to eat it (it was meat), they started to take evasive action. One day, I got just so fed up with everyone that I started to eat meat again. No one ever mentioned that again.

I blinked, and came back to present times.

"…Bella? Bella?" Alice was waving her hand in my face.

"What?"

"Just making sure that you were paying attention. Now, here…" She handed me a large envelope.

"From me and Rose," Emmett said, grinning so widely it must have hurt.

"Thanks." I set it in my lap.

Alice eyed the envelope. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Shouldn't I wait for everyone else to get their things?" I asked patiently.

"No, we want to see what they got you!"

"Ugh. Fine."

I picked it up and carefully opened it. On the cover of the card the only thing I saw was my name written in a very elegant script, and below that was a toothpick taped to the card. I raised my eyebrows, looking at Emmett.

"You'll understand once you open it," he explained.

I turned my attention back to the card. I opened it, and something fell out of it. I ignored that for the time being and read what was inside: _Hey, Bella! You're definetily sure to get a kick out of this! Hope ya like it! Love, Emmett and Rosalie_.

I picked up the even smaller envelope that came out of the card and gasped. Two tickets for Jeff Dunham's next performance in Seattle.

"How did you get these!" I squealed. "I've always wanted to see him! Thank you so much!"

Emmett's grin looked like it was going to go off of the sides of his face it was so big. "You're welcome." He put his arm around Rosalie.

After that, a few more gifts were passed around and opened. Some squeals, some _how did you find this?_, some _awww, I love you_. But thankfully, no more for me yet.

"Hey, Emmett," Alice said.

"Hmm?"

"Guess what Bella and I got for everyone!"

"What?"

"Open it and see!"

She handed Emmett a really, REALLY big box to open. They could only be one thing…

He tore the rapping paper open in one swift movement, and opened the humungous box. One by one he pulled out the…

"Nerf guns!" he yelled excitedly.

I couldn't help but laugh, and neither could Alice.

All of a sudden a dart was shot, and it hit me in the eye. "Ow!" I yelled, my hands rising up to my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked immediately.

"My eye," I whimpered. "It was open when he shot it."

His face turned cold and he turned to Emmett.

"Oops! Sorry, Bella!" He sounded like he meant it.

It hurt like a mother! What the hell, did he like jam it into my eye socket?

Alice was suddenly handing me an ice pack and Edward wasn't holding me anymore. Actually, he and Emmett weren't even in the room.

I put the ice on my eye, and asked, "Where did they go?"

She jabbed her finger to the backyard and I nodded.

"Fighting?"

"Wrestling." And, sure enough, I heard some yelling as Edward asked him who the hell he thought he was and the such. I would have to apologize later to Emmett for Edward's behavior.

I sighed. Right now all I wanted was to have Edward here, and yet he was outside. Not exactly a good combination.

"Edward?" I very nearly whispered. Not even a second later, he was standing in front of me.

"Edward, don't fight. It's Christmas morning. It's just an eye, I have another one." I smiled.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he apologized. "I'm a bit too over-protective of you."

"I've noticed," I commented.

I sat back down, and hugged a pillow to my chest. I could feel myself losing consciousness again. My lids drooped…

Edward positioned me on his lap again, and I leaned my head back on his chest. He rocked us back and forth slowly, humming my lullaby. The other Cullens were talking quietly to each other.

"Wait!" I said, before I fell asleep. "Alice, where did you put my gift for Edward?"

Edward looked at us curiously.

"Here," she said, handing me two boxes strapped together to tightly that only a vampire could open them. She smiled mischeviously. I knew what the bigger one was, and I wasn't going to let Edward open a box of lingerie for me in front of his siblings.

I handed him the boxes. "Don't open the bigger one till later, though," I added.

He smiled brightly, and took the box from me, nodding. He took the little one off and tore open the paper, revealing a small Ipod Nano. I got him a black one, with _Edward Anthony Mason Cullen_ engraved on the back of it. Below his name, I engraved _Love, Bella_. It was all in very tiny letters.

He handeled it with great care, as I'm sure he could accedentaly crush it very easily. He smiled again, and kissed me gently on the lips.

"Thank you, Bella. This is wonderful."

"You're welcome."

"I have something for you as well," he said.

I flinched as I thought of all the possibilities. I forced a smile though.

He gave me a small, small box. I looked up at him. He nodded his head in encouragement.

I took off the silver wrapping paper very carefully, and very slowly. A small black velvet box now laid on the palm of my hand. I drew in a shakey breath, and lifted up the lid.

The first thing I saw was a circular shape. I examined it more closely. In the middle was a pearl, a real one, not fake. Around that was my birthstone, a topaz. The topaz was the color of Edward's eyes when he comes back from hunting. And even around that, was a thin lair of diamond. The chain was a pure, shining silver. A single tear formed, and silently rolled down my cheek.

"Thank you," was all I could manage at the moment. I sincerely meant it.

I took the necklace out, and held it up for Edward. He got the message, and took it from me. I leaned forward slightly, and grabbed my hair, pulling it up. His hands went to the front of me for a moment, and he brushed his hands softly across my neck as he fastened the necklace together. When he was done, it hung down my chest proudly, glimmering off the sun that shone through the window.

I turned and kissed him, and he returned the kiss. It was short, for his sibling's sake. When I turned back to them, some of them, Alice and Emmett and Jasper looked like they wanted to cry, while Rose sat there, stiff as stone. She was looking politely away. I knew that the only reason Jasper looked like that, though, was because of all our raging emotions. Poor guy.

A/N huh. I can never seem to make a chapter short when I'm writing this story. lol. Well? How was that for a chapter? Tell me in a review!

**P.s. Sorry for leaving it off there! Oh, and tell me if I should use some of the gifts in future chapters. I already mapped some of them out, like the Jeff Dunham show, and the Nerf guns, but you tell me! Please, I love the input! Thanks! **


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